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I have been friends for more than 20 years, a person who's overcome numerous challenges, her resilience is commendable. But, she's repeatedly caught off guard in relationships. Her partner walked away, which came as a huge shock. A lot of her social circle drifted away during that time, because they seemed drawn to her husband. This surprised her deeply. She made increased attention to be my friend, probably realised more acutely the meaning of companionship.

Ongoing Issues In Relationships

In the time since, many of her friends have disappeared without her being sure why. Her last employer became hostile, even though she was an excellent employee, she departed unaware of the reason for the change.

Present Situation

Lately, we have each left the workforce so we're spending time together, yet I realize my position in our friendship feels one-sided. I open topics of conversation and she changes them to what interests her. Regarding political views, she has unyielding views. I attempt to suggest double-checking information and alternate views.

She has been organizing a vacation to a country I know well many times and lived in previously. I tried to provide advice, yet it was met with resistance. She essentially solely sought validation of her plans. I've just come back from a month in that place and she wants to reconnect, however, I hesitate.

Evaluating the Situation

I hesitate in this role who cuts and runs without a word, however, I feel she'll truly comprehend the consequences of her actions on my confidence. Currently, I am in avoidance mode. What's the best step?

Potential Solutions

One option is to walk away, however, that approach is not often the peaceful resolution that we desire. But confrontation aiming for a solution requires bravery and willingness from both people.

Experts suggest using a useful conflict resolution tool:

"Step one involves describing the usual pattern in your conversations. Aim for this to be as factual as possible and basically exactly what occurs. Next involves sharing her how it affects you emotionally. There should be no disagreement about this. Emotions are valid, naturally. Step three involves requesting how the two of you going to change the interaction of your friendship."

Consider your friend has her own side, meaning you must to remain ready to acknowledge it. One effective method is telling to the other person:

"Now you talk and I'm going to not say anything for half an hour."

This can be successful for promoting better communication.

Closing Considerations

She may dismiss all you say, since certain individuals have a “survival narrative”: they have a version of their life they won't let go of because their very survival depends upon it being the only thing they trust. It's tough because there's no thoroughfare in such cases, only cul-de-sacs. But she may initially present defensively then consider about what you've said. If a resolution isn't found a fix, you'll have closure knowing you were open and direct.